You Don’t Need More Confidence. You Need Fewer Excuses.

Jan 23

Written By Matthew Scaramella

By Malik Jordan

Let me say this clean before it makes you uncomfortable:

Most people aren’t lacking confidence.
They’re drowning in excuses they’ve learned to defend.

Confidence isn’t rare.
Action is.

And excuses are the buffer that keeps you from noticing the gap.

I hear them every day.

“I just need to feel more ready.”
“I’m not confident enough yet.”
“I’ll start when I get my head right.”
“I just need a little more motivation.”

Those sound reasonable.
They sound responsible.
They sound self-aware.

They’re not.

They’re delay tactics dressed up as self-improvement.

Confidence is a reward, not a requirement.

Nobody gains confidence by thinking harder, reading more, or waiting for the moment they finally “feel like themselves.”

Confidence shows up after you move — not before.

You don’t feel confident then act.
You act then feel confident.

Every single time.

But here’s the part people don’t want to admit:

Excuses are comfortable because they protect your identity.

If you never start, you never fail.
If you never try, you never look foolish.
If you stay “preparing,” you can keep believing you’re capable — without ever proving it.

That’s the trap.

You’re not scared you’ll fail.
You’re scared you’ll find out where your limits actually are.

So instead, you keep saying:

“Once I’m more confident…”

Let me translate that for you:

“Once I can guarantee the outcome.”

That day isn’t coming.

No one feels confident starting the gym.
No one feels confident sending the first message.
No one feels confident speaking up, changing careers, setting boundaries, or choosing themselves.

They do it scared.
They do it messy.
They do it while their stomach is tight and their mind is loud.

And then confidence follows.

Excuses don’t mean you’re weak.
They mean you’re protecting something.

Your pride.
Your comfort.
Your image.

But here’s the trade you’re making whether you admit it or not:

Every excuse costs you self-trust.

Each time you say “not today,” your brain remembers.
Each time you negotiate with yourself, you train yourself to lose the argument.

And the more you do that, the less confident you feel.

Not because you’re broken —
but because you keep proving you don’t keep your word.

Confidence is built when your actions line up with what you say matters.

That’s it.
No affirmations required.

So if you’re waiting to feel confident, stop.

Ask a better question:

“What excuse am I using to avoid doing the thing I already know I should do?”

Remove one excuse.
Take one uncomfortable step.
Keep one promise to yourself.

Confidence will meet you there.

Not at the starting line.
Not in your head.

But on the other side of action —
where excuses don’t survive.

— Malik

One Tool That Makes Excuses Harder to Hide

If you’re serious about cutting excuses, give yourself a tool that removes friction.
Something physical. Visible. Impossible to ignore.

A notebook, a habit tracker, a daily planner — not as “motivation,” but as a contract with yourself.

One I personally recommend is the Lamare 2026 Habit Tracker Calendar because it forces you to write the promise down and face it every day.
No hype. No inspirational fluff. Just a place to track the actions you keep saying you’ll take.

Excuses live in your head.
Commitments live on paper.

A 5-Minute Confidence Exercise

Tonight, write down one thing you’ve been “getting ready” to do for too long.
One message you haven’t sent.
One boundary you haven’t set.
One decision you’ve been circling.

Now set a 5-minute timer and take the smallest real action toward it.
Not the perfect action.
The first one.

Send the rough text.
Open the application.
Schedule the call.
Walk into the gym.

You’re not trying to feel confident.
You’re proving to yourself that you move even when you don’t.

That’s how self-trust starts.