You Don’t Hate Routine. You Hate What It Reveals About You.
By Malik Jordan
Sometimes stillness is what finally tells the truth.
Let me say this first — clearly, and without ego:
This isn’t an attack.
This is a hand on your back.
Especially if you’re a woman.
Especially if you’re a mother.
Because most of the time when people talk about “routine,” they talk like everyone has the same amount of space, silence, and energy.
You don’t.
Your days are layered.
Your attention is divided.
Your nervous system is carrying more than anyone sees.
So if routine has felt heavy, frustrating, or even insulting — that doesn’t make you lazy. It makes you human.
But there is something important hiding underneath the resistance.
And it’s not what you think.
It’s Not the Routine You Hate
It’s the mirror.
Routine has a way of quietly showing us what we’ve been postponing — not because we’re weak, but because we’re tired.
It reveals:
How little time you’ve had that was just yours
How often you’ve poured into others before checking in with yourself
How disconnected your body might feel after years of doing what needed to be done
How much you’ve been surviving instead of choosing
That can be uncomfortable.
Not because you’re failing —
but because you’ve been strong for a very long time.
Mothers Don’t Avoid Routine Because They Can’t Commit
They avoid it because routine threatens to expose a truth they rarely say out loud:
“I don’t actually know what I need anymore.”
When your life revolves around keeping things moving — kids fed, schedules managed, emotions regulated, messes handled — stillness can feel unsafe.
Routine isn’t just structure.
It’s a pause long enough to hear your own voice again.
And that can feel scary if you haven’t heard it in a while.
But Here’s the Part No One Tells You
Routine isn’t here to judge you.
It doesn’t ask for perfection.
It doesn’t demand discipline.
It simply asks for honesty — and then it gives something back.
Routine says:
You matter enough to show up for yourself.
Your needs are not an inconvenience.
You don’t have to earn rest, strength, or care.
That’s not selfish.
That’s repair.
This Isn’t About Becoming Someone New
It’s about remembering who you were before everything piled on.
Before you only moved when someone else needed you.
Before you ignored hunger, fatigue, and emotion because there wasn’t time.
Before you believed consistency had to look rigid or punishing.
Your routine doesn’t need to be strict.
It needs to be kind.
Five minutes.
One small promise.
A single daily anchor that says: “I’m still here.”
That’s not a schedule.
That’s self-respect.
If You’ve Been Avoiding Routine, Hear This
You’re not broken.
You’re not undisciplined.
You’re not behind.
You’ve just been carrying more than your share.
And routine — done gently — isn’t here to expose your flaws.
It’s here to give you something back:
Stability
Trust in yourself
A sense of control that doesn’t require force
You don’t hate routine.
You hate the idea that you might finally have to acknowledge your own needs —
and that’s not weakness.
That’s the beginning of strength that actually lasts.
And you deserve that.
A Small Tool That Makes Gentle Routine Possible
If creating routine feels overwhelming, don’t start with discipline — start with something that helps you hear yourself again.
A simple daily reflection journal (I’ve linked one here on Amazon) can be a quiet anchor in your day.
Not a rigid planner.
Not a productivity machine.
Just a place to check in with yourself — even for two minutes.
Sometimes the hardest part of caring for yourself is remembering what you actually need.
Having one small, physical space that belongs only to you can make that easier.
You don’t need to overhaul your life.
You just need one place where your voice gets to land.
I’m Malik Jordan.
I write about healthy habits, fitness and the winner’s mindset.
By Malik Jordan